Ever feel like you lack vision? Ever get frustrated by a constant struggle with forward motion? ...Do you ever feel like your life is like a torn up love letter to somebody who never loved you the way you loved them?
What if life was a book, the pages were blank, you were given a pen and the rest was left unwritten?
I was driving to work today... typically, I was focusing more on the song I was singing than the 'more than familiar' road I was driving. I started screaming the words to this particular song, because it was as if my spirit was shouting out what was the deepest need within me... I needed a paradigm shift.
"I am unwritten... can't read my mind...
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand ... ending unplanned.
Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window
let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
reaching, for something in the distance...
so close you can almost taste it, release your inhabitions.
Feel the rain on your skin, no-one else can feel it for you
only you can let it in.
No-one else, no-one else can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken,
live your life with arms wide open... today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten"
I can't live a life that is defeated. I am convinced that my God is not finished with me yet, and no matter how many battles, limitations and hurdles I come up against... I will not lay down and die. I can't give up. I have come too far. Frustrations are a great catalyst for change, and I am damn sure I can't leave this Earth having done less than my best for a God who created the heavens, the Earth and... me.
Yesterday I took my dog out for a run at sunset, by the bay where I grew up. As we ran past other dogs, I saw her slow down and check them out... they had a brief interaction, which made me nervous... they could have tried biting each other's faces off... but they didn't. My dog, she just walked on by... never looking back for longer than a second at any dog she had just passed. And I felt an overwhelming sense of parallel to my own life. Sometimes, even when things look appealing they might be futile. And the only way to keep moving forward is to quit looking back. God reminded me that this world was birthed because he wanted relationship with his children. He didn't have to make the world beautiful - beauty was completely optional. Aesthetics are unneccesary and undeserved gifts, meant for us to enjoy. And just as the thought flickered through my mind, I looked over the bay and saw as the tide was out, at least ten abandoned boats on what once was water... and way further out... I saw an island with an enormous orange full moon peeking over the top of it. The sky was blue, purple, pink and orange. The water shimmered in the last glimpses of sunlight. I stopped in my tracks, and within two minutes the moon had fully risen. I watched in amazement. He rose the moon for me. And he did it quickly.
God knows that we get frustrated. God knows we want to advance. Sometimes all it takes is changing your perspective. For as long as you see yourself as stunted, frustrated and stuck... you will stay there. But where you see your life as a book that is yet unwritten, thats where the power is. Strength here, is my choice, my part to play. Prayer is the power force behind my advancement. I can complain that the moon is invisible, or I can go outside and put myself in a position to watch it rise.
God, increase.
It is the cry of my heart that in my drawing near to you, that you would draw near to me.
